I think that yesterday I achieved a great change in the course of my
relation with Salvia.
After the first two dreadful experiences, I decided that a different
approach was necessary. I did not want to take the risk of enduring a similar
episode. Though my interest on Salvia is considerable, three consecutive
terrifying attempts seemed to be too discouraging.
Though an unexpected visit made me think that past weekend would be not
suitable, finally we managed to be at home late Sunday evening.
The strategy I thought was the simplest: start from the beginning, with a
little dose. Following your instructions, this time with dried leaves instead
Another thing I had quite clear was that experience should take place in a
nice environment, with no fear or other negative feelings.
So, when arriving home, I took some ‘Valeriana’ to achieve a calmed
state. I decided to smoke in the companion of my wife. I wanted her to be
there, as part of a nice environment. She was watching TV; with headphones on
in order to keep my experience free from noises. This was perfect, for she was
there, but I did not feel her attention on me, which would not have been
relaxing. I was in such a position that TV screen was not visible. Instead,
some plants and my wife were in front of me. Some dim lights on, and me
resting in a conformable armchair.
Fortunately, I managed to be quite calmed and feeling nice when I decided
I crumbled half a big leaf, and smoked half that amount. One toke. My heart
accelerated a lot, as in the two former occasions. I felt it bumping quickly,
not due to Salvia, but to expectation. Then the distinct metallic feeling came
all over my body. Again that sensation!
Important moment: I realised clearly that I was on Salvia. At first, the
same bodily (and probably mental) sensations as on former occasions, but this
time, I kept eyes opened. Watching my living room, my wife, a quiet, familiar
an cosy scene. As time was passing and I was realising that the dose was not
strong enough to fire me to other worlds, I started to feel more relaxed.
Fine! - First conquest. The third approach to Salvia, deliberately smooth, was
crucial to help me lose the fear.
This encouraged me to try again the same dose. The effects were not so
intense. OK, anyway. Another try without panic. I prepared another whole leaf
(though smaller than previous), and smoked a third.
This time, I felt a very nice sensation of being in a flowing mass. I could
feel different currents, bending, slowly. No strange presences were there. -
No fear. I relaxed and gave myself to the mass, feeling the movement. It was
not very vivid, and the light through my eyelids gave it an dark orange colour.
Maybe this prevented visuals from happening. But it was fine, because of the
warm effect it caused (opposite to dark and strange worlds I had seen).
When back, I was certainly happy! I had managed to be calmed and even
enjoying Salvia’s effects. I was very grateful to Salvia. I tried one or two
more times, (incredibly!) asking the Salvia to carry me wherever she wanted,
with a love feeling towards "the mass", which I embraced in loving
After having smoked 4 or 5 times, I decided to let it be as it was. I had a
very nice sensation. I had managed to feel secure and confident ‘inside’
Salvia. And that was very important. I know (and knew in that moment) that
things could be very different if dose were bigger, or set and setting
different. That is why I did not dare to try a strong hit. I preferred to keep
that wonderful sensation. It was necessary to remember some experiences just
as problem-free as these have been. I even smoked a little bit of hashish, as
I had read that it would prolong that (wonderful) feeling. Soon after, I went
to bed, and certainly, all night had that nice ‘scent’ of plastic/metallic
love and joy. Now I understand your last e-mail’s "sensual
The most important thing, apart from the nice sensations, is that now I can
afford Salvia without fear. I suppose that probably more terrible experiences
are waiting. Every ‘psychonaut’ has to face them. But now, they will just
be part of the whole. And I will try to accept and understand what they teach.
To end, I will mention a rather naive and curious feeling I’ve gone
through today. I’ve been submerged in a special state, a kind of gentle joy,
as the one a young and innocent boy might have after having achieved the first
kiss with the girl he is in love with and has been so long dreaming to
Again I look at Salvia with excitement and hope.